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Six Lives: A Memoir

Dow Marmur

Toronto: Key Porter Books, 2004
212 pages, $26.95, Paperback

Reviewed by Rev. Garth Wehrfritz-Hanson, pastor of Grace Lutheran Church & chaplain of The Good Samaritan Society's South Ridge Village, Medicine Hat, Alberta, and former board member of CCCJ, Alberta Region

Dow Marmur was most recently known as senior rabbi of one of the world’s largest Reform synagogues, Holy Blossom Temple in Toronto, which he served from 1983 to 2000. Holy Blossom Temple, with its six to seven thousand members, is perhaps the most influential Reform synagogue in Canada.

The first thing about this book that caught this reviewer’s attention is the title; it is an apt description of Rabbi Marmur’s life journey. The chapter titles also reveal the author’s distinct pilgrimage: “Poland: Beginnings, Soviet Union: Exile, Sweden: Refuge, England: Vocation, Canada: Challenge, and Israel: Homecoming.”

Although Dow Marmur was born in Poland, an only child, he and his parents fled the Nazis to live in the Soviet Union Republic of Uzbekistan for five years. Life was very difficult there, exiles like the Marmur family had to steal food in order to survive. Dow, although a young boy at the time took on an adult role in his community, since he had learned the Uzbekish language quite well and served as an interpreter.

After World War Two, the Marmur family moved to Sweden, where Dow’s parents settled for the rest of their lives. His parents were secular Jews, therefore not overly happy when Dow decided to move to England, where he studied for the Reform rabbinate at London’s Leo Baeck College. However, prior to this move, Dow met and married Fredzia Zonabend, a Holocaust survivor of Ravensbruck concentration camp, who, with her family, also had settled in Sweden.

After Dow completed his studies at Leo Baeck College, he served as an ordained pulpit rabbi of two Reform synagogues in London. These were happy and fulfilling years, where the Marmurs raised their three children and they resided for more than a quarter century.

After this, the Marmurs were up to the challenge of moving to Canada where Dow served Toronto’s Holy Blossom Temple Reform synagogue. It was not an easy move for their children. Both daughters eventually chose to move back to England and pursue careers in palliative care nursing and acting. Their son made aliyah and lives in Israel, where he is a rabbi and dean of a Reform theological college. Under Rabbi Marmur’s leadership, Holy Blossom Temple was able to successfully navigate through several conflicts and changes—including new liturgies and worship books, practicing kashruth, wearing headgear, revitalizing the youth and offering significant educational programs for members of all ages, becoming involved in social activism through projects like Out of the Cold for Toronto’s homeless, and engaging in interfaith dialogue with Christians and other faith traditions.

After serving Holy Blossom Temple as senior rabbi for seventeen years, the Marmurs realised that it was time for a change, so they officially retired and made aliyah. They now reside for half of the year in Jerusalem and in Canada for the other half-year.

As we journey along with Rabbi Marmur, we learn of his survivor’s guilt, his persistent feelings of inadequacy and struggles with identity. He observes that there are basically two kinds of rabbis—cat rabbis and dog rabbis. Cat rabbis are introverts; they prefer a life of solitude and scholarship. Dog rabbis are extroverts; they prefer to be in the limelight and serve people well. Although Rabbi Marmur spent most of his rabbinate in the synagogue, he claims that he appreciates times of solitude, reading a good book.

In order to compensate for his inferior feelings, Rabbi Marmur became a workaholic—deeply involving himself with several high-profile international Reform organisations, writing a few books, teaching courses in Judaism in a Toronto theological college, and engaging in interfaith dialogue and social action projects. This was all in addition to his full-time duties as senior rabbi at Holy Blossom Temple.

One thing this reviewer appreciated about the memoir was Rabbi Marmur’s determination to write with honesty—his “tell it like it was/is” style, yet without rancour, is most commendable. He tells of synagogue members, who, at first, adamantly opposed his leadership, only to eventually, by the grace of God, change their hearts and minds and become his loyal supporters. Rabbi Marmur confesses that while some have praised him as a courageous leader who held to his deep convictions; as well as a distinguished preacher and teacher; he describes his courage more as the fear of failure than anything else. Speaking of confession, the last chapter he pens is titled “Afterthoughts,” and is very much in the genre of a confession where he honestly examines some of his motives determining the path of his life. A final chapter, written by his wife titled “Coda “My Luck” by Fredzia Marmur,” rounds out the memoir. Fredzia makes the point that had it not been for her work and support, and in numerous cases, the sacrifices she made, husband Dow would never had been able to pursue many of his involvements as rabbi of three synagogues.

Throughout the memoir, one can see God’s grace working in and through people and events, filling Rabbi Marmur’s life with countless blessings. The last two sentences of his chapter “Afterthoughts” are very telling: “Mine has indeed been a rich and rewarding life. I thank God for it daily.” (p. 199) Hopefully those who read this memoir can say the same thing.